I'm NOT. But at the same time, I didn't really sleep the last couple nights, because my brain was in overdrive thinking of Glee (or if not directly thinking OF Glee, thinking of things that REMIND me of Glee).
I'm not going to get DUMB because I haven't actually had a fandom in quite awhile that lasted more than a few months. But I do want to remember how Glee affects me right now.
I avoided Glee for all of its 2009 run for ~personal reasons~, which I will briefly detail here:
*I had a really shameful high school career, and still have trouble watching shows/movies that take place in high school, because they bring a lot of bad feelings. Coulda shoulda woulda, boo hoo. If regrets were horses, we'd have a surplus of glue.
*I was... kind of in theater/choir? In high school. I had "acting talent" (I put this in quotes because it wasn't really acting talent so much as it was comedic talent, and it wasn't acting so much as it was improvisational. I sucked then and still do suck reciting OTHER people's lines) or something like it and should have been a shoo-in for theater, except I was also a psycho with severe feelings of inadequacy and it Just Didn't Work Out.
Choir was similar. I had been told my whole life that I couldn't sing for shit, and my mother convinced me not to take Choir classes. When I was a senior, I finally figured FUCK THAT and just went ahead and did it, and was *okay*. I still am *okay*, but I'm not good. But then I think if I would have just taken choir as a freshman, learned about music, whatever, maybe I'd be okay now. If regrets were jelly beans, President Reagan would have died of diabetes.
I still... it's been almost ten years since I took my first theater class and realized how WRONG it felt, when it SHOULD have felt so right. I always wanted to be an actress, or a singer, or in show biz. But I hated it. But I knew I SHOULD have loved it, I knew that. I don't know why I didn't.
I did so many really just plain DUMB things in theater/choir class, and in the 2 plays I was marginally involved in. I have fortunately suppressed most of it, and what I do remember was horrible. Just horrible. If regrets were ratings, Conan O'Brien would still be the host of the Tonight Show.
So, long story short, being reminded of the debacle that was my high school performing arts experience usually only brings pain. Being reminded of how BADLY I did in contrast to how WELL other people did... I'm lucky that those feelings are finally starting to fade, because in the past, they've led to me doing a lot of stupid things to cope. If regrets were vacuum cleaner bags, I'd be able to actually vacuum the floor.
OKAY SO ALL THAT SAID, that's why I avoided Glee. I didn't WANT to see a show about talented youngsters with the world ahead of them, going after their dreams, having ten years I don't have anymore. I didn't want to see a show about GOOD high school musical performances. I didn't WANT to have a show that would bring back memories.
But there's something about Glee that only seems to remind me of the good parts of high school. The ubiquitous purple chairs. The white brick walls, the dirty chalkboards, the setting winter afternoon sun. Staying after school late. It makes me nostalgic for those little aspects of high school that never seem to change.
And the stories are so compelling, the characters are so interesting, well-drawn and deeply, DEEPLY flawed that you want to see them happy. More than anything, you want to see things work out for these people because they're so fun, and cute and you end up liking them all SO MUCH. (Well, I personally don't really like Emma and Finn that much. They kind of piss me off. But everyone else, I'm very cool with.)
Most surprising of all is the fact that it doesn't make me feel "old", like I blew my chance, or like it's too late. I totally expected it to, but it doesn't. The fact that the show addresses those feelings in its characters really helps. Rachel Berry doesn't want to see her high school career go by with nothing to show for it, so she goes way overboard to overcompensate. Will regrets not chasing his dreams. April Rhodes is the biggest mess you can imagine. Quinn is literally watching her life crumble around her. But they all have this passion in them, an outlet that makes them feel young, strong, powerful. And when they feel that way, you feel that way too.
So, yeah. I'm actually really glad I gave Glee a chance. It doesn't give me any of the bad feelings I get from a lot of other similar shows/movies.
In short, it lives up to its title.
( Gross and TMI )